Beacause I am Ill, Awake, and my Life-coach told me it was a bad idea

I wish I knew what time it was.

Late Christmas card.

He was a drug addled asshole, but said some things. Hit refresh to get more.

You are he that is called him, or her...

While we are on the topic.

Somtimes, the Lapper is Not a Good Idea

So this cat, hanging out with strippers, has died. I dont care about that...but what I do think is interesting is the fact that the titty bar served him so much booze that he died. Come on buddy, how much disposable income do you have to get this drunk at the strip club? Another tale of the young professional...Too much money, too much spare time.
In the article is another link to this one.

who found Cardrico inside the club where he had been for at least an hour.

Chopper has been looking for the parent of the year for a bit now...Maybe a competitor?

The 300 and the Holy Grail?

I hijacked this from another blog that I read. Sweet.

It is Too Bad...

...that all I used was booze and grass. What the heck ever happened to working to achieve goals? Granted, it took me a while...a long while, as well as being the Father to 2 boys I will never meet. But come on...study, take notes, practice your flute as much as you can little soldier, and sooner or later, you can be better than those drugged out hippies.

Money Quote: "I knew the literature and wondered what it felt like," she said.

Other notable things in case you have the attention span of a donkey:

That's why Sarah Tuck, a veteran flutist with the San Diego Symphony, takes them to stave off the jitters that musicians refer to as "rubber fingers."

I bet Charlie Parker would bitch slap this nice lady. For the prescription, not the drug use.

The drugs haven't been tested extensively in healthy people, but their physiological effects in the brain are well understood.

By the way, emphasis...mine.

What patient wouldn't want their surgeon to be completely focused during a life-or-death procedure?

I would rather he/she not be drug addled and strung out whilst performing my bicep enhancement surgery.

Who would Win in a Fight?

The tiger, a female named Tatiana, was the same animal that ripped the flesh off a zookeeper's arm just before Christmas 2006.

You would think that if this same Tiger chewed off a piece of a zookeepers arm, it would have been A) put down then, or B) moved to a safer location. Anyway, who would win in a fight, a Tiger or a Grizzly Bear?

Vs.












UPDATE 8:41 PM: I believe TV's Jack Hanna. If I appeared that many times on Letterman, you'd believe me too.

Jack Hanna, former director of the Columbus Zoo and a frequent guest on TV, said such a leap would be an unbelievable feat, and "virtually impossible."

Good Morning and Welcome to IHOP

Geeks and the Internets...nothing like it in the world.

Watch out for biting monsters.

Have to love Kias.

These cats are nuts.

Nobody told me that this was an accredited University.

Merry Christmas Bitches.

Remember When REM Was Cool?

This is absolutely fantastic. I will say it again, fantastic.

Good Riddance...Or Don't Let the Door Hit You

You all know the scene...Bottom of the ninth, runners on second and third...Down by a run...Some low-rent shitty left handed reliever on the mound. Up to the plate steps the bane of my last 4 years. Jenks always had he benefit of the Nasty Ned Man Crush upon him, but that is neither here nor there. Anyway...First pitch, a mistake, Ge-off hits hard, down the right field line, but just foul. Now you know what really happens...the next two pitches are so obviously out of the strike zone...low and inside...like you were teeing up a golf ball. Swing and a miss...the television audience looses it at this point, collectively throwing beer cans at the TV. Swing and a miss...game over...and the boos fill the ball park.

You get the point. I am not a fan. Thanks for the occasional dinger when it wasnt needed, and for the few that were. Dont let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

oh yeah, and I am on vacation bitches.

Well, I Just Woke Up, and Am in No Shape to Drive

Why being politically correct may be bad.

For those of you who are crafty.

Just like the TV says, "the more you know."

Best Apple invention yet.

This is what happens when you play Wii too much.

Best bumper sticker I have ever seen.

The Juice Is Loose

Like most fans, I anxiously awaited the findings of the Mitchell report. Not because I needed to know who was getting needles shoved in their back-sides, but because it is nice to know who is fake. Well, what did it tell us?? Not much that we all did not know already. But the worst...the absolute worst is that the Rocket has been accused. Not that it is hard to believe. Who has their best years as a pitcher when they are 10 years past their prime? Now the best pitcher any one of us has ever seen will be forever tainted. Was Pedro on that list? No. Looks like we have a new bad ass, as nutty as he is. As my friend would say..."too sad for cake."

Thank You Chopper

Man, if you werent my buddy, I would be pissed. But since you are a member, I know I have my ticket locked up. I could never imagine paying this much for a ticket to the greatest show of the year. For fucks sake people wake up.
UPDATE: Turns out that Chopper is taking his 3 daughters to the concert. Screw off man, and happy birthday.

Best Campaign Add Ever?

New Museums are Always Good

This one may make me break my pledge to never go to Vegas. Anything having to do with Frank Sinatra's Las Vegas is OK with me.

"If anybody out there finds a memo saying: `To the boys, from Meyer. Re: Bugsy. Kill him,' We'd love to have it," said Michael Green, a College of Southern Nevada history professor who is researching exhibits for the museum. "But we doubt it's there."

For the record, free booze and edgrimly dont mix.

If Only Rumors Were True?

So Eric Gagne signed today, after passing his physical. Solomon Torres has agreed to come to camp instead of retire, but that is not the best part....The thing that got me was:

It was a pretty big omen that Gagne put on uniform No. 38. Reliever Matt Wise wore that number, and the Brewers need to get rid of a player before adding Gagne to the 40-man roster. Look for Wise to be non-tendered. The deadline for offering contracts for 2007 to unsigned players is Wednesday.

as well as...

I'm starting to get some vibes on Texas third baseman Hank Blalock.

Though he has been known to be a homer and an idiot, the guy is usually right when it comes to who will be on the opening day roster. Hank Blalock is huge, and was an "uber-prospect" along with and until Mark Texiera became a full time major leaguer. Thats where the "if" comes in. If it is true, that means the Hammer will move to left, a position he could be worse at...He is fast, knows how to get to balls, and has a cannon, albeit an inaccurate one. Those problems dont show as much when you play in the outfield. According to this, Blalock is is signed through '08 with an option for '09. If salary is dumped through a trade...cough...Capuano, Wise, Prospects...cough... that is a great move. This guy also mentions Gwynn, which would leave the outfield firmly in the hands of Corey Hart, Bill Hall, and the Hammer.

Because It Is Late, and This is What Daddy Digs Right Now....

Dont mistake my enjoyment for wanting to go out and kill, but these guys are bad ass. May change tomorrow. It is too bad they are not around these days.


And before you die of boredom....

Because Its Early and I didnt Go Out...Also Sober Like a Priest

Bet I did this before, but it needs repeating.

Damn hippies, always conserving things.

If you need it...

How to park your private plane.

This is why I try not to drink pop.

Low grade ska for the filthy hippie.

And the Re Tooling Continues

While dinking around on the internets today, I found this interesting tidbit. If that actually happens, I cant imagine having a better bullpen. Having 5 decent set up pitchers rather than one overpaid closer is a blessing from the baseball gods. By the way, 54 days until pitchers and catchers report.

It Is Not as Happy as it Seems In the Valley

Looks like, as a lark, some students at Penn State U. went to a Halloween party dressed like victims of the V Tech massacre. Now I did some stupid shit in school, like taking bong hits for lunch, going to 15 bars in about 40 minutes, and staying in school for 7 years. But it seems the me generation of todays students thinks that though it is not funny, the humor envelope has to be pushed.

"It's not that it was funny, it's that we are notorious and infamous in the state college, so we have to do things that push the envelope just for shock value,"

That is just disrespectful.

They May Be Dead...

Although the NBA is dead to some people I know, I have to point out the thing that makes me angry about this article. Apparently, the current coach of the Marquette HS basketball team...I mean Milwaukee Bucks, said this...

“Starting is almost genetic," said Krystkowiak. "I think it’s in guys’ heads. They’ve been talking about it since pee-wee league or whatever that you have to start. That’s always a goal. But I think in this league, you see a lot of guys - you see a (Manu) Ginobili - you see planty of teams that have a real smart sixth man coming off the bench. And that’s what I’m thinking with Charlie (Villanueva) and Bobby (Simmons)."

How many guys who have started consistently in the last 10 years deserve that spot...cough...Tim Duncan... So if it is so overrated, why is it that Bobby Simmons has more points per game, and more rebounds per game than "the cowboy?" Maybe it is because in basketball as much as in baseball, you have to ride out the guy who is playing the best? Accepting the small sample size as well as basketball being a shell of its former self, why do coaches not get that? Now, for those of you nit- pickers, I am not advocating leaving in Turnblow when there are 2 runners on...simply to say that you can tell when a guy is on a streak and when he is off of it.

It Is Now Official

Looks like David Riske will be a Brewer next season. Thats a good thing for those of you not keeping up. As I said before, compared to the top 5 closers in the league last year, he has the same numbers short of the saves. Those are hard to come by in Kansas City. He has a better head than Turnblow, who not all bad, tends to suck at baseball a bit to much for the high pressure situations.

Also, the Brewers are looking at Tadahido Iguchi at the hot corner. Thats not bad either. Though a second baseman, he apparently played third in Japan. Now they just need to lose the field manager, and the offseason would be complete.

Bad Ass Since I was in Highschcool....Or Beacause I am on Vacation Bitches..or You Fuckers Need Some good Rock and Roll...or Some Punk Rock for you.

And the motherfuckers who I went to the show with drank too much Jack Daniels...Im talkin to you, yes thats right, because now its melted!!!! An elephant never forgets.

And one would remain close to my soul...if I had one.

For those of you who want to clean everything...

And for those of you interested in Jack Kevorkian

And in case you are angry with the amount of videos....fuck off, here is some of the good shit.

I ripped off this guys bow-tie once, and its not low grade. The assholes at youtube will not let me put it it up.
Still one of the better tunes out there. And he plays minor league ball.

Last but certainly not least, to cap it all off...

Some people get angry, sometimes you dont know what is right. Punk rock will make you know.

This post is meant for you to watch all of it. If you dont, fuck ya, and click on all of the links you sonofabith. By the way, I have never met another Figgs fan.

This Message Will Self-Destruct in 5 Minutes

Goats are people too.

"Thar she blows, a hump like a snowhill."

To wear or not to wear.....

Cheers to child-like innocence.

Just like John Denver, that algore is full of shit man.

This is why the internets are bad ass.

Holy Sh!t...We Are All Going to Die!!!!

So it is snowing/sleeting/raining frozen shards of glass from the sky. So for 4 inches of snow, all of the local TV stations are going nuts with "round the clock" coverage. Ladies ladies ladies, we live in 'Sconi. This happens every year, and unless algore is right, it will continue to happen well into the future. I read somewhere today that grocery stores had people lined up to buy staple food products...milk, eggs, bread. Is this the nuclear war that we have all feared? No, it is a winter storm. Do you think that they go this crazy in Russia when it drops 4 inches of snow on them?

UPDATE: Get a fucking grip people, where do you think this is?

Can You Say "Scabs"

Looks like "the chin" Jay Leno, the guy with one bit, fired off his staff today. Not that I watch the late night TV, as I am out trying to feed my knife at those hours, but man.....I heard that they were going to end this strike soon. This guy has been a late night staple for years, as far back as I can remember after Johnny Carson. Granted, he has that thing where he goes and asks people really easy questions and they are always wrong, which is kind of funny. Here you go Chopper, the death of TV is too sad for cake. What will happen when other TV shows follow suit? Please see the earlier post. Maybe he has some other starving-artist writers waiting in the wings to work for peanuts, or maybe this is the end of a crappy era....Who knows. Glad I am not awake that late, or watch that crud.