Brooms are for Everyone

Sorry for the lack of shit...I have been suffering from a week long hangover. Anyway, here is why you come here...

Tom Cruise hates Oprah.

You people make no sense.

Application?

Fun with history.

Seizure waiting to happen.

More from nerds.

It Tasted Like God Took a Shit in My Mouth

60 hours being drunk...

Time waster.

Do you mean surface cleaner?

Even more wasted time.

Avian influenza.

Importer or exporter?

Nothing to Say

If you had not noticed, you're Milwaukee Brewers have been making quite a name for themselves. 11 of their last 12, and 7 strait. Happens that on the post game deal they do, they are talking about the Milwaukee Bucks and how they did in the NBA draft lottery. Fuck those guys.

Anyway, back to the issue. No links, just yelling.

Ironically I waited on Geoff Jenkins right after his thumb injury. He was having the best season of his career. It was sad. He said, in some sort of non-Wisconsin accent, "My thumbs broke man." Rickie Weeks just lost the rest of the season to a wrist injury. The best season of his career to date. These things dont matter much except for the fact that I am not panicking. i) the fact that Jenkins is a bum, and ii) for the fact that 1 hitter can be replaced. Not to say that C squared can make up for the power numbers that Weeks had or his crazy speed. Only to say that there are 2 hitters on the 25 that can make up for all of that. Going without saying is the pitching.

Despite what people say, and have said myself, the pitching is and has been good. Since the onslaught that is Trevor Hoffman, the pen is lockdown. There have been a number of pitchers to contribute. Most notably this DeFelice character. Who throws one pitch better? Mariano Rivera. Villanueva is showing why he is the best releiver we have on the team besides the Hells Bells(I hate AC/DC) and there are 2 hard throwing guys who are pretty good, as well as being able to throw multiple innings. After the 7th, they have been plenty good. One of the better staffs, in terms of WHIP, in the league. Look it up.

What I am really talking about though is the lineup. The picture of Braun and Gamel in the dugout on TV, after Gamel's tater, was a good one. Can you imagine a 3-4 hitter lineup with thse 2 guys for the next 10 years? Thats 80 home runs(projected) from 2 players. Think about it. Yes, he made the shittiest throw to first ever seen by baseball, but the bat should take care of those problems. And defense is learned unless you are Ozzie. Look at Braun in left...

All is well ladies. Yes...over 162 games, teams will have difficuties. And small samples rarely prove to be worth the price of rice in China. So there will be a time when hits dont fall and outs are not made. Remember Bull Durham. But wait for it...be pacient...and regardless of recent perfomance, Suppan is a 12 million dollar a year mistake...look at the numbers and you cannot deny the good shit.

Home and Still Drunk

Slightly amusing.

In a perfect world, we all would go like this.

Look out for the Turk.

I have been going about it the wrong way.

Computer geeks have it rough.

The Good Shit

So Daddy got himself a new machine. I have Windows Vista disks of anyone wants them as I will not be using them...And I have XP disks as well. FireFox made it easy with the bookmarks, and the keyboard is the same as the one I have at work. Further making me the automaton that the office job tends to require. Work all day to come home to the same damn thing.

The best part is, I dont have all of the problems with porn that I used to. Not morally that is to say, but functionally.

Your Mom Says Hello

Nerds already know it.

People in my line of work know that this doesnt work.

Do or do not.

I dont like smut.

Dont judge me.

Want to Hear the Most Annoying Sound In the World?

No, not this, but Mocking Bird can be your Cinco de Mayo celebration. The most annoying sound in the world is actually this. Whats that you say? The internets make no sound? But you already know, intuitively, what it entails so imagine.

"I know that I just want to play at a high level. I know I can play at a high level. Plus if I come back, I get blowjobs from John Madden."

Because you know the old bastard isnt far behind. Anyway. Here is what I liked from the article.

"he never anticipated the Jets would release him after drafting Mark Sanchez"

I was under the impression that he(Noodles) had asked for his release?

..."requested his release some time ago"... "He has not indicated any desire to return to football and he remains retired. We wish him the best."

Thanks for the accuracy ESPN.

Look...Ive said it before, and I will say it again now. Maybe he is the best that ever was. His Hobbsian, the Roy kind, ascent to football greatness is what I will tell my grandkids about. But the continuation of the melodrama that is so noodleicious as this is insane. Sure the writers will love him, like they always do. And sure the announcers will fawn about his gunslingerness. But what about the fans? Though I dont much care for football unless it wins me money, and lord knows it hasnt recently, I am a genuine Favre fan. He made me watch Packer games. But now he has simply been cut off from the football mind of edgrimly. Except to make fun of him of course. I can only hope that the rest of Packernation feels the same way. And if I see you wearing a Vi-Queens Favre Jersey, I will act like I will kick your ass to the best of my ability.

I Got the Pig Flu from a Hooker

On phones.

Fear and loathing at the derby.

Dont piss off train.

Dont spare the charmin.

This guy has to be pissed.

Further Explanation

So let me explain the below post a bit better...I left my house at around 1030am yesterday thinking that I was going to go to my job to get some shit done, since I had a rough week with a lot of stuff I didnt get taken care of. When I got there, I decided that I was not working on Saturday. So I got on 43 north for no reason. As I got a bit of the way out of the city, I decided that I would go to Manitawoc to see the WWII sub they gt there. When I got to the museum, they were doing some veterans thing, and I didnt want to intrude on. When I looked at my map, I saw I was pretty close to Elkhart lake. I called up my friend, he will be called Molester, and told him that I was coming by to say hello. As he bought a restaraunt/bar there that I have yet to see. Thinking I would be there for about an hour mind you, and then continue driving somewhere. When I get to town, he says "Wow Dick(affectionatly of course) Glad you are here, I need a host for the night." I said the first two words that came to mind. Fuck and no. He than told me that I was working for him but would be bartending in the basement bar. Which I could handle. So I shook off the booze slanging rust and busted out the old skills. Good times.

After we closed up, we went to Molester's house and had an afterbar. After everybody went to bed, I remained awake as I was not nearly as dunk as the rest of them. The brother and sister that I was hanging out with insisted that the place was haunted. Beng the sceptic I am, I called bullshit. So they took me down into the restaraunt to listed for the ghost noises. Anyway, long story short, we were down there until around 530. I went to bed and woke up around 9. Still drunk. I made it home by 1030 this morning and went to bed. I am now awake and still hammered and thinking about having a beer.

Crazy Shit From Where

So I am in Elkhart Lakw, WI. And Listening to an argument about ghost between a brother and sister. Fun stuff.