Beacause It Helps Me Sleep at Night

People are really funny when they are stupid, make mistakes, or a combination of being stupid and making mistakes. I thought it was mildly amusing when I glanced at the TV this morning and saw this action. I know I know...The whole program is a joke for already bloated superstars to make more money. Or for pill-popping alcoholics to show off their keen eye for talent.

I would be remiss if I didnt briefly touch on this. I havent tried writing about politics for a while because it has been the same crap for the last 4+ months. Put them in the thunder dome. Anyway...Everyone in the right half of the peanut gallery, as well as those are going nuts. Loving every minute of it. While all the while, their candidate doesnt really look all that good all of the time. Maybe we could revise the rules to make it "three men enter, one man leaves because he is old and bored." Yes, I picked the Karl Rove article on purpose.

And on the fun and happy side of life, this guy wants to make a sequel to a movie that probably will not do all that well. Special effects can only take you so far sir, then you have to start popping pills again. Or doing lines from a hookers ass.

You'd Shut Your Mouth if You Knew what was Good for You

Good to see this guy still gets work.

Oh sandwich, I could never stay mad at you...

Hot biscuits.

Somewhere, Choppers ex-wife is weeping for the future.

Public service announcement.

These Arent Your Normal Run of the Mill Hippies

Out on the west coast, some landlords have been charged with tenant terror. I always wondered what it would be like to have a crazy person for a landlord. I guess I always thought they would be a bit more devious...Like breaking into my apt and rearranging the furniture, or move my mailbox. Maybe they would empty out my shampoo or toothpaste. But some of the things these nut-jobs did is downright loopy.

"One day, Morrow noticed the blade of a saw ...which had cut a 2-by-4-foot hole in the floor."

Holy shit. Thats really dangerous. And crazy. I wouldnt want to lose my foot to something as lame as that. Rather it get caught in an escalator or something.

"...came home and confronted Kip Macy as the landlord was ransacking his apartment, Macy kicked him in the chest"

And then there is violence. This guy must be a black belt or something. If I tried to kick someone in the chest, I would crumble to the ground in pain...for like 20 minutes.

I Have a Buddy who Looked Like this Guy

Nice job Smoltzy on your 3,000K. He was always cooler than Mad Dog because he didnt play for the Cubs. Better than Glavine, because he was not a Met. Who the heck is a Mets fan anyway? While playing 20 years in the Majors, he stuck with one team. That never happens. Not to mention the fact that he was a closer for 4 years. I dont think that there are going to be many 3,000K pitchers anymore, so that makes it even cooler.

So Long, and I'll Write Every Day

Just after scoring the winning run in todays all out cage match of death at Count...Miller Park, Neddy Bear's favorite special little guy was traded to the Tampa Bay Dev...Rays. Traded for one Josh Butler from the High A affiliate. I have to say that I will miss the God-Rock that they play when he comes to the plate. What is that...DC Talk?

That just means that we have to remove one pitcher from a staff of 14. 14 pitchers. That is a one and a four respectively. How do you ever expect to work fourteen guys all nice and regular like? On the front page of the online magazine, Baseball Prospectus, there is an article about just that. It is too bad you need to pay money to read it. Either way, the poster boy for too many pitchers these days is none other than our good friend Mr. Turnbow. Too bad the picture wont work because Blogger fuckerd me. It seems as though, after complaining about not getting the "good innings," he truly has to be the odd man out. Cameron is coming out soon, so that is one spot. And Gwynn is off the rehab soon as well. What to do, What to do? Grinders and Hustlers and Gamers always make the right choice Neddy Bear...Always.

*please note that I spelled "fucked" incorrectly. After proofreading, I thought it sounded better this way.

I Have Been Going at it Easy

Look pal...I could give you a pass on the first one. And I was willing to accept the second, as the bats once again saved your cannuck ass. But let me be perfectly clear...I know that you had just pitched the previous 3 days. I know it. I know that you are tired. But you are throwing to the Natti of all teams. Buck up little soldier...you used to juice right? Think about how you used to pitch on the juice, then try to break that record. Or maybe try to throw strikes. Or start shooting it up again. It does not really matter at this point. Saving 2 of three opportunities does not a play off team make.
UPDATE 4/22/08: As of today, that is 4 of 10.

For Lack of a Better Name

This isnt all that far from here.

When shady people are your bag.

I love it when people think that more prescriptions are the answer.

Fun for the whole family.

Dont ever say I didnt do anything for you.

Warriors...Come Out and Play....

And from the right coast in an outside the city neighborhood. Do they have suburbs out there?

They say one man was stabbed and hit with a claw hammer; a second person was hit in the head with a hammer.

How could that many people be involved in this type of violence? I mean, I have taken hammers to peoples heads before, but it was out of a deep-seeded respect. And the student became the teacher.

This is Why I Am Better

Here is a little ditty from the windier part of the lake. See, here in Milwaukee, we are normal people. We like to drive cars. We have no need for your subways or metros...I peed on the subway twice...I will gladly pay $3.50 for gas and not care about the environment for knowing that this will never happen to me. Traffic here is a 10-15 minute delay. There, you are likely to get stuck in traffic for 2+ hours. Unless you drive like a crazy person to get home for nothing in particular.

Ignoring pleas of transit workers, they decided to leave the train and walk through the dimly lighted tunnel toward freedom.

"The train in front of us had stalled and that was the extent of it, then the power went out, no air, people were passing out, throwing up," said CTA rider Jay Miller

Yes, freedom. We make better bratwurst and arent nearly as pretentious as well.

On un-Holy Man-Crushes and Jeff Weaver

I can give the Neddy Bear a pass for yesterday, and maybe even today. But you cannot bench arguably the hottest hitter in baseball for your personal man-boy slave. It is almost like these two. Seriously, does the God-Rock kid bring you coffee in the morning, and shine your shoes while reading the paper to you as well? Would you please pass the soap, Gabe honey... If you look at the above link, you can see that they have roughly the same number of at bats. Other than that, it is like bears and puppies. One will likely rip your starter to shreds, and the other just wants to curl up with his daddy and have his belly scratched.

The recognition of platoon split statistics has done a lot of good things for baseball. Just look at Kevin Mench and Geoff Jenkins. Gross' split looks like this. I assume that it is just an error with the site, but maybe it does not list the Gabester's vs lefty numbers...saying that he is just bad and should be on the first beer truck out of town. Either way, those are some pretty shitty numbers, even compared to a bar league softball player. Not to mention the fact that Kapler is faster, albeit older, and has a better arm than Gross. On the bright side, Gross is the grittiest, grinderific, hustlicious player on the team.

The only thing that Gabe Kapler has done is rake. Please note that the splits are both pretty good. When pitched to from both sides of the mound. Having a career year in the first month of the season. Thats all I have to say about that...The small sample size numbers speak for themselves. Except for the fact that he was part of a pretty crazy statistic. I believe that this is the only time 2 Jewish players hit home runs in the same game for the same team. Granted, he cannot keep this up, and in 2 weeks, it will be a moot point anyway since Mike Cameron will be able to play. For the love of the Sweet Zombie-Jesus Neddy, havent you been found guilty of playing the hot hand before? What is so different now? Tony LaRussa you are not, which ironically, was proven to you last year against that same manager.

The Brewers also added another arm. Jeff Weaver will begin the season at AAA Nashville, after not opening the season on a team. Probably at some point, he will be up with the big club when someone gets hurt, or they trade Dave Bush...Whatever comes first.

By the way, cry me a river. Put up some numbers or go bag groceries.